Have you ever wondered why there are so many lesbians in Second Life?
I'm quite sure that many of them are NOT lesbian in Real Life. I'm not...at most, I am bi-curious. But in SL, I just celebrated my third anniversary of partnership to two loving, lovely women. It turns out that in Second Life, I prefer the company of women.
I find this affects my ability to be even-handed as a mentor, too. I find it very easy to greet and talk to women, but I'm much more reticent and guarded when it comes to talking to men.
I think the answer to this may be found in a post that my friend Glorf Bulmer made on her blog the other day: All Too Typical In this post, she bemoans the fact that a great many men in SL are, to put it kindly, boors. If you are a man in SL, you are almost automatically assumed (by women) to be on the make, interested in only one thing, and probably not very skilled at going about getting it. Men don't talk, they act. (Yes, yes, I know...this is generalizing shamelessly. I apologize to all the kind, thoughtful, and articulate males out there. You know who you are, and so do I...and I treasure each of you!)
But the thing is, there is a grain of truth in that generalization. And as Glorf points out, the articulate person has a great advantage in Second Life. Women, on average, tend to be more articulate than men. In other words, we talk. We gab, chatter, chat, and discuss. Our endless blathering bores men to tears.
Most of all, our emotions are stirred by words more often than our male counterparts. We are less visual, more verbal. This is one reason why so many women like romance novels.
Second Life is a woman's world. Unlike real life, the sex ratio in SL is skewed toward women, about 60/40. Interestingly, the Real Life gender ratio of SL's population is NOT skewed...it's about 50/50. This means, of course, that there are a lot of Real Life males who use female avatars in SL. Some of these are actually transgendered people, but others have simply realized that we women have the edge in SL. As a woman, it's easier to make friends, to find clothes and accessories, and to be accepted in general. In SL, male avatars do not enjoy any strength advantage. Women have no fear of men in SL.
And so we have lesbians. Lots of lesbians. Because the sensitive, the articulate, the thoughtful people prefer the company of others like themselves, and those people often are women...or become women in SL.
I saw this very graphically the other day. I noticed a nice young man, a newbie, staring at some freebie clothes. He was positioned midway between a display of men's clothing, and women's wear. I offered to show him how to get and wear the freebies, and asked him what outfit he liked. He pointed and said, "The black mini dress." I laughed and told him we'd have to do a bit of a makeover first. By the time we finished, he had become a very cute young girl. And when she discovers cyber-sex, I bet she'll be a lesbian.