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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Zen of Relationships

This will be a short one! Many times, I'll see a Forum post, usually from a young girl, who asks, "How do I find a boyfriend?"  Or a partner, or a husband.  Once in a while the question comes from a young man.

There's nothing different about finding a Special Someone in Second Life.  It works the same way it does in Real Life.  You meet a lot of people...be open and pleasant...and as you get to know someone better, a relationship may develop.

That sounds easy, doesn't it?  But it's not.  For one thing, the people who ask this question are often socially challenged, through youth or inexperience or through being saddled with a difficult personality.  And so many of them are desperately seeking that special relationship.

And therein is the difficulty.  If you are looking for a relationship, it will elude you.  The trick is to stop trying so hard.  Just sit back, chill out, calm down.  Stop thinking about how much you want to find someone.  Sigh...I know, it's not easy.  Keep working on it. 

You have to take it easy, because if you give off that desperation vibe, it will repel the very people you want to attract...and attract the sort of emotional predators you want, at all costs, to avoid.

Once you get to the point where you aren't thinking about it...when you are just going along, doing other things...that's when your Special Someone will show up.  It's amazing how this happens.

Stay away from dating and matchmaking sites, stop thinking about finding your soulmate.  Instead, work on being the best person YOU can be.  Once you're working on that, on the things you can affect...you'll be astounded at how everything else will work out.

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